Animal Poems

Because fall is a season of migration, I thought I would share a string of animal-themed poems. I also recently watched the American Masters documentary Mary Oliver: Saved by the Beauty of the World, and I was inspired by Oliver’s poems about the natural world. I hope to pay more attention to nature in my own life as autumn transitions to winter.

Bird Observation

A seagull fluttering
In the wind,
Intent on adhering
To some preordained
Flight pattern.

Wings outstretched
Above a traffic light—
How pretty the bird looks
Center framed in my windshield.

Witness

I look up as a group of birds
circles buildings in downtown Syracuse.
I resist the urge to pull out my cellphone
and snap a picture for Instagram.

Instead, I hold my gaze skyward,
letting the wind swirl around my face
and the rain patter my forehead,
as the birds duck in unison
behind a limestone structure—
the moment preserved nowhere except in my mind.

No pictures retained or sound recorded.
No trace of the birds in digital form.
And I think that’s the point, that’s life—
a collection of these impromptu glimpses of existence,
built into a collage, a kaleidoscope of images
demanding attention when presented.

From The Truth I Must Invent (Poets Choice, 2016)

Morning Flight Path

Three gray-white pigeons
flap their wings
as they dart into
a canopy of trees
outside a nursing home.

Their action reminds
the residents inside
that flight is attainable,
despite fragile bones
and defective hearts.

Yes, the senior citizens
can fly,
at least vicariously,
as long as they can
peer out their grimy windows
and suspend time,
while watching the pigeons
scudding across
the cerulean sky.

Aloft

A line of black birds perched
on a faded red billboard
overlooking Interstate-81
in downtown Syracuse—
feathered sentries
making aerial observations
of life thrumming below.

Squirrel No More

While walking along Walnut Avenue
near my apartment complex,
I see a dead squirrel splayed
in a shaded area close to the curb—
front paws erect, a rivulet of
brownish-red fluid
leaking from its head.

A fresh kill. A pelt of brown-black fur
pressed against the asphalt
like some animated character
in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

I wonder whether I should call
the New York State Department
of Environmental Conservation.
Does the decaying organic matter
pose a health risk?

Should I pull the squirrel off to the side,
toss it in the high grass
adjacent to the curb?
Or let nature take its course—
with wind, rain and runoff
eroding the animal or
crows eating the meat?

And then more existential
queries fill my head.
Does the squirrel’s family miss it?
Are they conducting a neighborhood search?
Will they mourn the loss of their relative?
Do squirrels have souls?
Is there a heaven for rodents?

I don’t why this little animal’s death
seizes my attention,
but the small figure left out in the open
triggers a sense of pity.

And on this warm, sunny day
with blue skies above me
and trees swaying in the breeze,
with insects buzzing and
flowers bursting with color,
with so much life abounding—
the squirrel gets no more.

No more summers.
No more scurrying across power lines
or cutting through green fields.
No more autumn days
spent climbing trees and storing nuts.

The squirrel’s fate
reminds me once again
that death shall come to all of us
in one form or another.
In the end, all mammals will be
spattered in the road.
And I accept this fact
as I continue walking home.

From Outward Arrangements: Poems (independently published, 2021)

Contrast

Feathers replace leaves
In the naked trees
Looming above Genesee Street,
As flocks of crows arrive to
Take their repose and roost for the night,
The clumps of birds stretching for blocks,
A curtain of black set against
The landscape bleached white by
Fresh-fallen snow and layers of rock salt.

The Mystery of the Wolf

A summer evening in upstate New York—
a backyard sprinkler hisses
while the smell of fresh-cut grass
is pungent and delicious.
Crickets chirp and a coffee-colored mare
snorts from across the barbed-wire fence.

I am alone, kicking a soccer ball,
when a gray wolf emerges from
the high weeds lining the fence.
I try to run, but my legs lock up,
and I tumble to the ground.

The wolf circles me,
then sweeps in on my limp frame.
I can hear its stomach growling
as it hovers over me.
The tongue is extended
and drool splashes my face.
The wolf takes my neck in its mouth,
but does not bite down.

And I wake up in my bed,
thankful that the encounter is just a dream.
I am safe, and no wolf invades my room.
Yet I remain troubled,
afraid of closing my eyes,
drifting back to sleep
and ending up at the mercy
of another predator.

From Dreaming of Lemon Trees: Selected Poems (Finishing Line Press, 2019)

On the Other Side

The brown rabbit bounded across the road,
hind legs lifted in the air.
It beat the oncoming traffic
and darted into the underbrush,
a blur of fur dancing from sunlight to shadow.
The animal’s small heart throbbed in its chest
as it listened to the roar of cars rushing by.
It nibbled on some grass and rested for the night—
deciding to stay in place, ensconced in the bushes,
safe, alert, alive—
and feeling the air moving through its lungs,
breathing slower and slower and slower still.

Hard Shell

What goes through the mind of a turtle
When it’s sprawled on its back and can’t roll over?
Does it panic as its legs squirm in the air?
Does it stick out its tongue and try to scream for help?
Does it curse its maker as it writhes on the asphalt,
With the sun scorching its belly?
How long does it wait before giving up and accepting fate?

No. This turtle does not think.
It lacks the capacity to reason.
Instincts fire as it battles to survive:
“Get off your shell. Roll over. On your feet.”
It rocks from side to side as it labors to turn over.
It strains, twists, and kicks . . . but fails.

And no one will intervene—
There’s no Tom Sawyer kid with a hickory stick,
Skipping along and flipping the turtle over.
No semi-truck rumbles down the road,
Stirring up a blast of air and setting the turtle upright.

It struggles alone, refusing to quit
As it attempts to conquer physics.
The turtle keeps working
Until the sun desiccates its flesh,
And it releases a final breath—
A low croak that goes unheard along the deserted road.
The turtle is gone and no one witnessed the fight.

The Hawk

With wings outstretched,
A hawk hovers overhead.
I look up, admiring its flight.
The bird remains aloft,
As a gust of air carries it along
In the stillness of the afternoon.
The hawk soars between the campus buildings,
Then disappears from my sight,
As it pursues a quarry or
Scans the horizon for a perch.

But “no,” I think:
That’s not the way to end the poem.
The lines fail to capture the
Majesty of this creature.
And I realize any words I write
Are doomed to fall short,
As poetry can never improve
What nature has made perfect.

From Sidewalk Stories (Kelsay Books, 2017)

 

 

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Hoarding Fortunes

I previously wrote about the inspiration I received from a bag of fortune cookies my wife bought at the Asian Food Market in Syracuse.

Well since then, she has purchased more bags of cookies, and I’ve been hoarding the fortunes I’ve extracted from the treats, piling the little white slips of paper on my writing desk.

I decided to gather them together and draft a poem in list form—compiled by me but written by an anonymous author. I have divided the text into two categories: General Wisdom and Personal Wisdom. I’ve also added my comments in italics.

Hoarding Fortunes

General Wisdom:

Home is where your heart is. (Agree in principle. But what constitutes home?)

Love is the key to a peaceful heart. (Agree.)

Kindness is the cornerstone of
a more compassionate heart. (Agree.)

Be glad for those around you. (Yes. I will try this when not stricken with envy.)

Patience is the key to a peaceful soul. (Agree, but difficult in practice.)

Practice self-compassion, for your
mental health deserves kindness. (Agree, 100 percent. But can your mental health actually deserve kindness?)

Ever cloud has a silver lining. (Every silver lining has a Touch of Grey).

Embrace the adventure of
life with all you have. (The “all you have” trips me up. Does this mean I need to go hiking in the Himalayas?)

Don’t hesitate to take control and
push things in the right direction. (What control do we really have?)

Be curious always! For knowledge will
not acquire you, you must acquire it. (Agree about the curious part, but the knowledge line trips me up.)

Personal Wisdom:

Positive changes are in your future. (Wait and see.)

Good things will shine upon you in
February—be open to receiving it. (Why February? It’s the worst month of the year in my area. What good things? Subzero temperatures and three feet of lake-effect snow?)

A time of creativity and
inspiration is in your future. (I sure hope so.)

Your luck will bring you
great opportunities. (Unlikely.)

Your positive outlook
will lead you to success. (Possibly.)

A deeper understanding of
life is coming your way. (I’m getting older, so I hope wisdom comes with age.)

A personal goal will be realized. (Maybe.)

Your entrepreneurial spirt will lead to
great financial success and wealth. (Reality check. I am entrepreneurial, but I don’t foresee huge wealth in my future.)

Your resilience will shine in the
face of unexpected obstacles. (I’ll try.)

You will be able to overcome any
obstacle that comes your way. (Highly unlikely.)

You are a positive influence
on everyone you meet. (I try to be, but maybe it’s because I don’t reveal what I’m actually thinking.)

Your coworkers will
appreciate your contributions. (I hope so, but they may also get annoyed with me.)

Your family will be a source
of strength and support. (Agree.)

Embrace your dreams;
they are your unique path. (Yes. But the pessimist in me acknowledges that most of my dreams will never come true. And that’s OK.)

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Ellen Bass Poem

While waiting for my son Colin’s annual flu shot at the drugstore, I saw a copy of the New Yorker, flipped through it, and found a poem by Ellen Bass. I thought it was worth sharing.

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Farewell Summer

An ice cream truck is parked along Stanwix Street in Rome. It’s the same block where I lived for part of my youth.

Farewell Summer (With Apologies to Ray Bradbury)

The death of summer—
sadness reigns
as the season wanes.

No more soft-serve
ice cream cones,
lakeside walks,
baseball games and
backyard cookouts.

Late August
blues ensue,
giving way to the
birth of autumn.

And you know
what comes next.

Soon Mother Nature
pulls Old Man Winter
down from the attic,
sharpens his dentures
and deprives him of food—

until she’s ready
to set him loose
on the world again.

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What’s Kraken Podcast

Earlier this summer, I was the guest on the podcast What’s Kraken with Jo Szewczyk. I had fun talking to Jo about writing, books, music, and life. Jo is the author of the memoir Surviving Gen X and the forthcoming novel Scarlet Shadows. You can follow him on Instagram @szewczyk.jo or find out more about him here.

The episode is also available on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

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Goodreads Giveaway

I have a Goodreads Giveaway running until September 8. I am giving away three signed copies of my memoir, Stunted: A Memoir of Delayed Manhood to readers in the U.S. You can enter to win here. Also, the price of the book has dropped to $20 on McFarland & Company’s website. Here’s the link. Have a good weekend everyone.

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Mid-Week Bukowski

I am reading Charles Bukowski’s The Pleasures of the Damned: Poems, 1951–1993 and wanted to share some poems that struck me. Bukowski’s reputation as a sexist, hard-drinking, gambling poet of the underground is accurate. However, he also has a tender side, which he demonstrates in this collection. Some of the poems deal with his cancer diagnosis and impending death. He died of leukemia in 1994 at the age of 73.

Mind and Heart

unaccountably we are alone
forever alone
and it was meant to be
that way,
it was never meant
to be any other way–
and when the death struggle
begins
the last thing I wish to see
is
a ring of human faces
hovering over me–
better just my old friends,
the walls of my self,
let only them be there.

I have been alone but seldom
lonely.
I have satisfied my thirst
at the well
of my self
and that wine was good,
the best I ever had,
and tonight
sitting
staring into the dark
I now finally understand
the dark and the
light and everything
in between.

peace of mind and heart
arrives
when we accept what
is:
having been
born into this
strange life
we must accept
the wasted gamble of our
days
and take some satisfaction in
the pleasure of
leaving it all
behind.

cry not for me.

grieve not for me.

read
what I’ve written
then
forget it
all.

drink from the well
of your self
and begin
again.

Cancer

half past nowhere
alone
in the crumbling
tower of myself

stumbling in this the
darkest
hour

the last gamble has been
lost

as I
reach
for

bone
silence.

So Now?

The words have come and gone,
I sit ill.
The phone rings, the cats sleep.
Linda vacuums.
I am waiting to live,
waiting to die.

I wish I could ring in some bravery.
It’s a lousy fix
but the tree outside doesn’t know:
I watch it moving with the wind
in the late afternoon sun.

There’s nothing to declare here,
just a waiting.
Each faces it alone.

Oh, I was once young,
Oh, I was once unbelievably
young!

Bukowski, Charles. The Pleasures of the Damned: Poems, 1951–1993. Edited by John Martin, Ecco, 2007.

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My Failed Keg Party

Late August marks the return of students to college campuses across the country. And this time of year always reminds me of when I got caught hosting a keg party while my mother and my future stepfather Bill took my sister Lisa back to Hartwick College in Oneonta, New York, for the start of her sophomore year in 1986.

I had never done anything that rash, but I deluded myself into thinking I had earned the right to have some fun. And I wanted to kick off my senior year of high school with something that would make me stand out and boost my social clout. My risky behavior was also inspired by a scene in the teenage movie Weird Science (written and directed by the great John Hughes), in which Lisa (Kelly LeBrock) tells Gary’s parents, “This guy deserves a party.” I was that guy, the nerd trying to fit in by hosting an end-of-summer kegger.

I asked my friend Todd to buy the beer. He bought a huge keg, and he and some friends dropped it off on the cement patio of my Grandma Josephine DeCosty’s old home—where Mom and I now lived—the same patio where my relatives gathered for cookouts in the summer.

It was a humid Saturday night with mosquitoes buzzing and crickets chirping. But with music blaring, kids chattering, and cars driving up and down our street (with drivers struggling to find parking), the noise of the party overtook the sounds of nature.

My friends and students I had never met congregated on the patio, pumping the keg and drinking beer from red plastic cups. Inside the house, people were spread out in every room—some guys stationed in the living room, watching a college football game pitting the University of Miami against South Carolina, while another group occupied a table in the basement, playing cards and smoking cigars. (The Hurricanes defeated the Gamecocks 34-14).

Nothing about my personality suggested I would host a party of this magnitude. But people weren’t coming to the party because I was the host. They came because the word spread about free beer.

I didn’t drink because I was too busy making sure everyone behaved. Even so, the party got out of control.

It ended because of my ineptitude. My friend Rob asked me to follow him home so he could drop off his car and then crash somewhere in my house. He didn’t want to drink and drive, and he didn’t want to leave his car on the street. Trying to be a responsible host, I followed him home, and we drove back together.

But in the meantime, my mother called. Julie, the younger sister of one of my friends, answered the phone, and my mother heard the background noise and asked the girl what was going on. I think Julie hung up without answering my mother’s question. When I arrived home, she said, “Fran, your mom called while you were gone. And I answered the phone.”

“No,” I said, tugging at my hair. “You didn’t.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know whether I should answer it or not.”

“It’s OK. Don’t worry about it.”

“She sounded upset.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

A short time later, the phone rang, and Lisa was on the other end. “Hey, what’s going on there?” Lisa asked.

“I’m having a party.”

“Well, you better get those people out of there quick. Mom and Bill are coming home now.”

“What? No.”

“Yes. Mom’s pissed. You better hurry. You have about two hours. Make sure everyone is gone and the house is clean.”

I hung up the phone, still holding the tan receiver. I remained standing in place, and the blood must have drained from my face because my friends asked me what was wrong. I could barely open my mouth, but then I whispered that my mom was on her way home.

I couldn’t raise my voice to tell everyone they had to leave, but my friend Donna stepped in and helped me. She must have recognized my desperation and announced the end of the party. Donna rushed from room to room, went outside to the patio and the driveway, and told everyone they had to leave and to help clean up on the way out.

Todd or some other friends took the keg, and I grabbed garbage bags and started picking up the cups. My friend Billy and another friend, Matt, planned to spend the night at my house. We removed all evidence of the party and wiped down every surface, and soon the house was immaculate.

My mom, Carmella DeCosty Ruane.

We were seated on the couch in the living room, watching television, when Carm came inside. Carrying her suitcase, she walked up to the second level of the house and addressed me. “I hope you’re happy. We trusted you, and you spoiled the weekend for us. You’re grounded. No car, nothing.” She then stormed up the stairs to her bedroom and slammed the door. Billy and Matt burst out laughing. “Shh. You guys are gonna get me in even more trouble,” I said.

In the morning, Matt woke me up and said he needed a ride to his job at a grocery store, located miles away on Turin Road. I told him I couldn’t drive but offered him my old bike. And Billy and I laughed after he left the house, as we imagined John pedaling uphill along Turin Road, riding my rusty, battered bike with a rattling chain.

A day later, I remained grounded, but I begged my mother for forgiveness and wormed my way back into her good graces. I told her I had wanted to do something fun, something to start our senior year on a good note. She said our next-door neighbor had complained about the noise, and she made me aware of the dangers of hosting a party at her house. “You have to understand,” she explained, “God forbid someone would have gotten into an accident after drinking, I would have been responsible.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever do it again.”

“I won’t,” I said, and we hugged.

And the story would later become a humorous anecdote I would share at family gatherings, recalling the time Mom and Bill raced home from Oneonta, only to find the place quiet and spotless.

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Senior Moment

The Central New York magazine 55 Plus recently did a nice feature article about me. You can read it here.

And yesterday, I participated in a local author “meet and greet” event at the Barnes and Noble store in Dewitt. I had the pleasure of meeting fellow author and leadership expert Julie Ann Whitten, who wrote The People Stack: Why Change Fails (and What Actually Fixes It)

A co-worker took this photo of me at the Barnes and Noble store in Dewitt.

We didn’t get a lot visitors stopping by our table, but I enjoyed talking to Julie and sharing stories about our publication journeys.

I also had to take a photo of some wall art in the in-store Starbucks. This image depicts one of my favorite authors, Langston Hughes.

And speaking of poets and poetry, I am currently reading The Pleasures of the Damned: Poems, 1951-1993 by Charles Bukowski. This brief piece of text by Buk rings true for me:

“Poetry”

It
takes
a lot of
desperation,
dissatisfaction,
and
disillusion
to
write
a
few
good
poems.

It’s not
for
everybody
either to
write
it
or even to
read
it.

 

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