Now that we’re well into October, I’ve broken out the winter coat and put rock salt and shovels in the tool shed. While I love the light and colors of autumn, the change of season ushers in a feeling of trepidation. Fall to me is more than playoff baseball, apple fritters, and pumpkin-spiced coffee (or lattes or whatever other beverages they doctor with pumpkin spice).
Genesee Street Tree. Photo by Francis DiClemente.
Autumn is a time of preparation for yet another Central New York winter, which means heavy coats and boots, shoveling and salting, and trying to avoid slipping and shattering a hip.
With these thoughts heavy on my mind, I discovered an autumn-themed poem written by Emily Brontë. Something about the words made me think I could hear Robert Smith of The Cure singing them as lyrics to a song. And speaking of music: I will listen to the album October by U2 from start to finish to deepen my autumn mood.
Emily Brontë by Patrick Branwell Brontë
Fall, leaves, fall
Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;
Lengthen night and shorten day;
Every leaf speaks bliss to me
Fluttering from the autumn tree.
I shall smile when wreaths of snow
Blossom where the rose should grow;
I shall sing when night’s decay
Ushers in a drearier day.
One year ago today, a neurosurgery and ENT team at Upstate University Hospital took a nasal approach to remove the remnants of a craniopharyngioma (a benign tumor on the pituitary gland). It marked my sixth brain surgery since age 15.
I have fully recovered from the surgery, resuming all activities, although I still suffer occasional bloody noses and have peripheral double vision (which is likely permanent).
Photo of me last summer, after my surgery.
Vestiges of the tumor—what my neurosurgeon calls “membranes and scar tissue” still reside inside my head, as outlined in my latest MRI report:
FINDINGS:
“. . . In the right paramedian aspect of the surgical bed in the sellar/suprasellar region again seen is mass with heterogeneous enhancement which measures approximately 1.2 x 1.4 cm by my measurements.”
For now, the mass “remains grossly unchanged,” but the nature of craniopharyngiomas means the tumor will likely grow back to a point where another surgery or radiation will be required.
However, my medical condition is not the subject of this post. I just needed a brief introduction with a reference to the anniversary of my surgery.
Instead, I want to share some musical selections I listened to in the days and weeks following my surgery last summer. These songs aided me, providing succor while I recovered, propped up in bed, unable to sneeze or blow my nose, and moving gingerly around the house.
As I listened to the songs, I reflected on my life, swelling with gratitude for being alive and making gradual progress—supported by my wife, Pamela.
I think the tunes can provide positive affirmation for anyone facing adversity.
“I’m Still Standing” by Elton John
“Winning” by Santana
“Back in the High Life Again” by Steve Winwood
“Better Days” by Bruce Springsteen
More about Bruce later . . .
As someone who grew up in the 1980s, I am mesmerized by the concert footage available on YouTube. It is amazing to think you can see bands performing in 4K (some clips with multicam edits) hours after a show. When I was a kid, I listened to 95X in Syracuse after a concert by the Rolling Stones at the Carrier Dome so I could hear the DJ run down the setlist.
During The Cure’s 2023 North American tour, they played five original songs that I believe will be included in their forthcoming album, Songs of a Lost World. Two of my favorites from the new batch are “Alone” and “Nothing is Forever,” which I listened to repeatedly during my recovery. They put me in a dreamy headspace where I could forget about my health problems.
“Alone” by The Cure
“And Nothing is Forever” by The Cure
I also turned to the Grateful Dead for repeat listening during the late summer of 2023—often clicking on two tracks from the Dead’s famed 1977 concert at Barton Hall at Cornell University.
“Morning Dew” by the Grateful Dead
“Terrapin Station” by the Grateful Dead
And finally, there’s Bruce.
Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band were initially scheduled to perform at the JMA Wireless Dome in Syracuse in early September 2023, but the show was canceled because of Bruce’s peptic ulcer disease. It was fortunate for me because I would have been in no condition to climb the concrete steps to the upper rafters of the Dome just a few weeks after brain surgery. But I attended the rescheduled show in April 2024, and I’ll leave you with “Backstreets” (which references summer).
“Backstreets” by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band
Francis DiClemente 