I received a nerve conduction study last week related to symptoms of my rheumatoid arthritis. The bearded electromyography (EMG) technician, Mark, had dark hair and an athletic build, and he wore glasses. We made small talk while he placed electrodes on me, stimulated the nerves with mild electrical shocks, and measured the results on a computer.

When I asked him where he was from, he said he grew up in Syracuse and went to a local high school. “It was a really good school,” he said, noting its academic and athletic excellence. “But I didn’t appreciate it at the time. I was kind of a screw up.”

He also explained that his mother was a custodian at Syracuse University and how he could have gone to college there for free, but didn’t take advantage of the opportunity. “I blew it,” he said. “But I had to find my own way.”

And then he said a jewel of a statement regarding regret. “If you focus too much on regrets, you don’t appreciate the life you currently have.” Or he may have said, “If you focus too much on regrets, you don’t live the life you currently have.”

Regret is a recurring theme in my poetry. I think it’s something all adults at a certain age wrestle with—this idea of ambitions versus reality.

Camera Angle

What would I choose
if I were given a chance
to lead a different life?

What mistakes
would I correct?
What new road
would I take?

But you can’t splice
the scenes of your life
to edit the past.
You can only point
the camera forward
and zoom into the future.

(The Truth I Must Invent, Poets Choice, 2023)

Formula for Success

Life can
be tolerable
when you
relinquish
aspiration
and settle for
acceptable.

(Outward Arrangements: Poems, independently published, 2021)

Shift in Thought

At some point
you have to
deal with the
Who You Are
instead of the
Who You Want To Become.

By now the
form is fixed.
You are
complete as is.
Don’t expect
anything else.
Don’t hope
for anything more.

(Outward Arrangements: Poems, independently published, 2021)